"Follow your passion," right? Wrong, says Cal Newport. The muse for his excellent and thoughtful book, So Good They Can't
The importance of a Date Night
Dating is an activity most associated with single people. But it shouldn't be. Dating shouldn't be something that stops when you enter into a long-term relationship or a marriage. It is something that should continue, for some of the reasons you started doing it in the first place: discovery, communication, and fun, just to name a few.
No matter how long a couple has been together, there's always an occasion for one of them to say, "I didn't know that about you!" That process of learning about each other (and with each other) is integral to a relationship. It spurs conversations and opens doors to opportunities and learning that might not have otherwise been there. Whether it's trying a new type of cuisine or going skydiving, you can always find an occasion to learn more about someone you love.
Relationships, particularly marriage, do take effort and work, and often so much of the rest of our lives can crowd into those relationships and sap some of the fun out. It takes effort to keep those demands at bay and demand (or reclaim) that fun for your relationship. This is to say nothing of the fact that a bit of de-stressing is exactly what all of us need.
This might be the most important aspect of date night: the ability to communicate without the call of duty for changing diapers, attending to quarrels, or helping with homework. While household management will try to sneak its way into your dates, try to minimize that and focus on listening to each other. The bills and the home repairs and all the other administrivia will be there waiting for you when you get back. Enjoy the moment with each other.
Let's be clear: some wine and Netflix on the couch does NOT count as a date. What you choose for a date night doesn't need to be spectacular each time - it just needs to take a little bit of effort, and be regular. Some people say you should have a date night once a week, but sometimes schedules, especially with young children, can be hard to coordinate. Many couples suggest a standing block of time that doesn't vary. Whatever you choose, don't let that date night be less often than once a month. The benefits, in every sense of the word, are too good to pass up.
What are some of your favorite "date night" ideas and how often do you plan them? Share in the comments below to get a coupon for 30% off a cologne purchase in our locations, which might be nice to wear on one of those dates!
About Ben Davis
A serial entrepreneur, Ben Davis is founder of The Gents Place and a leading investor in gentlemen's refinement and confidence.
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